Vorheriger Witz | |
Pointscoring For MenSimple Duties: You go out to buy her flowers. +5 But return with a case of beer. -5 You check out a suspicious noise at night. +5 You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's nothing. 0 You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's something. +10 You pummel it with a cricket bat. +20 It's her cat. -50 Social Engagements: You stay by her side the entire party. +5 You stay by her side for 10 minutes, then leave to chat about VWs with a drinking buddy. -5 Named Stephanie. -10 Stephanie is a goddess. -15 Stephanie has large breasts and a cherry 1967 Karmann Ghia with a Berg motor. -20 Saturday Afternoons: You visit her parents. +5 You visit her parents and actually make conversation. +10 You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television. -10 And the television is off. -15 You spend the afternoon watching the V8 touring cars on TV in your underwear. -5 And it's not really your underwear. -10 Her Birthday: You take her out to dinner. +5 You take her out to dinner and it's not at your local Leagues Club. +10 OK then, it is your local Leagues Club. -5 And it's All-You-Can-Eat night. -10 It's a Leagues Club, it's All-You-Can-Eat night, and you bump into ten other blokes from Club Veedub out on the turps. -15 You give her a gift. +5 You give her a gift and it's a new set of metric spanners and socket kit. -10 You give her a gift and it's not anything to do with your Volkswagen. +10 You give her a gift and it's chocolate. +20 You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months. +30 You wait until the very last minute, then buy her a gift on the way home that day. -10 From the only shop still open, the local 7-11. -20 With her credit card. -50 And it's something useful for your VW. -100 Thoughfulness: You offer to wash her Hyundai. +5 You offer to pull out her engine and replace it with something decent. -10 You don't laugh when her Hyundai breaks. +10 You offer to pick her up at the bus station. +20 You forget to pick her up at the bus station. -25 Which is in Redfern. -35 And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast. -50 A Night Out, Just The Two Of You: You go to the latest Schwarzenegger movie. -5 You go to the latest Kevin Costner film. +5 You go to see a live comedian. +5 He's lewd, crude and sexist. -10 You laugh at his jokes. -20 You laugh until your sides ache. -30 She's not laughing at all. -40 Which makes you laugh harder. -50 Driving: You take her for a long romantic drive +5 To a junkyard swapmeet in Oberon -5 You lose the directions on the trip. -10 You lose the directions and end up getting lost. -15 You end up getting lost somewhere in the back streets of Cabramatta. -20 Where your VW breaks down. -50 The local gangs arrive and she finds out you lied about having a black belt in karate. -100 Communication: You go for three sentences without mentioning your VW, tools or even cars in general. +5 When she wants to talk, you listen, displaying a concerned expression. +20 When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. +25 You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television. +30 Because you've fallen asleep. -100 A Night Out With Your Mates: You have a few beers. -5 For every beer after three: -5 for each. And miss her curfew by an hour. -10 You get home at 4:00am. -20 Your mates drop you home at 4:00am then have a burnout competition on the street in front of her bedroom window as they leave. -30 You get dropped home at 4:00am smelling of stale booze, cigarettes and vomit. -40 And not wearing any pants. -50 Is that perfume? -200 |
Nächster Witz |